I once ate at a gentlemen’s club in London (note that “gentlemen’s club” is not a strip club, as we might think here in the United States) called the Reform Club, and I especially liked the way they handled menus there. The host was given a menu with prices, and the guests were given menus sans prices. In selecting my meal, I considered what I wanted to eat, not how much it cost. More likely than not, I had a better meal and a better experience than had I seen the prices, because, had I seen the prices, I would have certainly taken price into account and probably not ordered the dish I really wanted.
Dating, especially first dates, can be a a bit daunting with all the rules you’re supposed to follow, and with every action being analyzed by the other person. Sometimes I’ll take a girl I’ve recently started seeing to a very high-end restaurant, simply because I like to experience different restaurants and it’s nice to be able to go with someone; however, I’ve found that some girls take this as an indication that I’m far more interested than I am, or that I’m trying to impress them. In reality, it has far less to do with either of the aforementioned reasons as the fact that I simply enjoy eating at restaurants like that.
When I take a date to a high-end restaurant, I don’t want her to judge me (favorably or unfavorably) on the price of the meal. I also don’t want her to order thinking that I’m judging her based on the cost of what she orders. I’ve taken her there for the experience, but sometimes money ruins the experience because of what people think the money means. In order to remove money from the dining experience on a date, I’ll use something I learned from the Reform Club.
Now, I often call the restaurant in advance and ask if they can print a menu without prices in order to alleviate my date’s concerns about price. While there are some restaurants that simply won’t accommodate a request like this, there are many that are able to accommodate this request because they print their own menus. Some restaurants will even print a menu on some nice paper, even though it won’t look like the standard menu.
More often than not, my date will ask about the fact that the menu doesn’t have prices. Sometimes, she won’t say anything, but will instead look at the menu with a perplexed look. Either way, I explain that I asked for menus without prices and that she should order whatever she likes. I take the opportunity to explain a few things: 1) it was my choice to eat at this restaurant knowing full well what the prices were; 2) I want her to order what she wants without concern for the price; 3) I enjoy eating at restaurants like this, and I’m so glad to be able to share that experience with her. Without my saying this directly, her takeaway is that I’m not simply trying to flash money in her face, but that I’m including her in an activity that I enjoy: she’s seeing the real me. She also knows that I took time to think about her comfort in advance, and there’s never anything wrong with being thoughtful.
If you’re going to take someone to an expensive restaurant, consider asking for a priceless menu. Give your date the gift of enjoying the experience without worrying about money. Eating at a nice restaurant on a date should be about the ambiance, the food, and each other’s company – not about money.
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